President Barack Obama
my mom said ‘Hitler was a penis potato’
and i have never been more confused in my life
until she looked at me like i was stupid and said ‘dictator… penis potato… god its like you’re not even my daughter’
i am so fucking done
actual photo of hitler
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.
Remember when Martin and Ben were like really awkward and uncomfortable-looking at the Emmy’s a couple years ago, and they were like “omg we have to stay together, we only know each other”
and now Ben’s at the Oscars alone and he’s just on fucking crack.
I bet his parents are watching and telling each this is not what they raised.
Meanwhile Martin is laughing his ass off phone in hand because he just dared Ben to do it via text message
You were supposed to spend your days in romantic splendor with your true love.